Rules for Dating at Work

This video pretty much sums up everything I've written in this blog. I'm glad I came across this video because it reassures me that all my ideas were weren't totally off track. All though I don't think the "love contract" actually exists in a business it does sound like a good idea ha ha.

Credit to youtube for the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHAtxmf75_I

Response to Kim A's "Looking at the Other Side.."

I applaud those co-workers turn couples that can make it through the judgments,criticism, and disappointment from other people. Although every blog entry I've written has been about how I don't think it is appropriate to date within the same company, I also understand that it's convenient to date someone your guaranteed to see on a daily basis. My manager at one of the jobs I've worked at was dating another manager at a different location but still had to keep their relationship under wraps because they knew it was unprofessional, although everyone already knew. Later that year they became engaged and unfortunately my manager quit her job because she wanted her work to be kept on a professional level. The moral of this story is to show you that although she lost her job in the end, she ended up happily in love with someone she met at work.

Credit to:
http://www.hbg-international.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/Website%20covers/Movie%20Tie%20In/LastSongPromo.bmp
for the picture

Why do people engage in workplace relationships?

We all know workplace relationships can make an awkward situation and ruin a business. People who get involved in workplace relationships have to risk being subjected to rumors. There is also the condition that you have to date someone in a position above or below you, which can create an awkward dating experience. What I want to know is why do people engage in workplace relationships knowing the risks involved? Is it really worth the risk? There has to be a better reason than people can't choose who they fall in love with.

Credits to:

http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/09/29/when-is-a-workplace-relationship-truly-worth-all-the-risks.htm

Response to Caitlin's Blog Entry on Feb 24, 2010

I agree with your statement. Public display of affection can ruin a business and create an awkward atmosphere in the workplace. As a customer, I would be very annoyed if I see a cashier is too busy making out to cash in my stuff. But this doesn't mean workplace relationship should be totally banned. A total ban on workplace relationship may infringe with the human rights act. Employers would create unwanted tension between them and their employess if such measures were taken . A good solution to this problem is to enforce guidelines, procedure or training. With proper guidlines, training or procedure employees are less likely to disrupt the work environment.

Credits to:
smallbusiness.co.uk Workplace relationships: take precautions- http://www.smallbusiness.co.uk/channels/employing-staff/news/20411/workplace-relationships-take-precautions.thtml

RE: Where do you draw the line between coworkers relationships within the workplace?

This hasn't happened to me when I was working, but I'm pretty sure that it depends on the situation. If their relationship is starting to hinder the workplace or affect others, I think it wouldn't be appropriate. On the other hand, if their relationship doesn't bother anyone or affect the workplace, I believe it's acceptable. It also depends on what the company's policy regarding workplace relationships. For example, Camosun College follows a workplace relationship policy that somewhat relates to what I said above. They also advice their employees to end their relationship if it begins to influence the other's judgement, input or decision-making power.

Camosun College Code of Conduct, Conflict of Interest and Workplace Relationships- http://camosun.ca/about/policies/operations/o-5-human-resources/o-5.11.pdf

Looking at the Other Side..

My prior blog posts clearly identify where my thoughts and feelings stand concerning romantic relationships within the work place. On the contrary, just because I don’t think it is appropriate to have relationships with coworkers, does not mean everybody feels/thinks so too. I know two individuals who worked at the same institution where they had met there, fellen in love, and eventually left together and 37 years later they are still together and happily married.

Credit to: http://cornerstonegroup.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/married_couple.jpg (for the photo)

Response to Caitlin's "Heartbroken" Post

I myself, have encountered fellow co-workers who dated, and eventually broke up. I never agreed with their relationship to begin with, I'm a strong believer that personal life should be kept seperate from work life. After the two individuals broke up, it was utter chaos. It became a he-said, she-said war. I would constantly hear one side and then the other a few moments later. At first I felt obligated to choose sides, so I chose to believe the co-worker I had known longer and grew a bit of a friendship with while working.. but I soon figured out on my own, that getting in the middle of other people's problems was not the smartest decision I made. I had nothing against either of them and we weren't really "friends" atleast the type who hung out, out of work, so I felt no reason to continue hearing either of them out. So one day, I told the both of them, it was sad their relationship didn't work out but that this was a place of work and not drama or gossip, and I would appreciate it if they wouldn't talk about one another and tell me about it, most importantly. Eventually, the gossip and talking died down and things went back to normal.

Heartbroken..

Let's take it one step further and say these two individuals break up, then what happens at work? How awkward and uncomfortable would that be for the two people? Never mind just them, but the people around them, I would hate to be the co-worker(s) having to listen to each of them nag and complain about the other individual! I guess my best advice for all the miserably single people is: DO NOT date your co-workers; it complicates things that are usually easily avoidable...

Credit to:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijIK_QeR_KC5LOWzxeMD4qfxW8CRCZ45HLh84i_jyfXjAGtTDgzl-sHuFWqwo_jkfMC2dVxeQexG5xZ4NvWw6tuhqk0Wh0vBIJbJaCI9F_taPH9KPD4IX8xwxkWIpGip5AfdbpTzhspNA/s400/Heart+Broken.JPG for the picture

Work Life vs. Personal Life

If you were dating someone at work, do you think you could keep your work life and personal life separate? Anyone who has ever dated, even once in their life knows that no relationship is perfect. And that with the highs there are lows. Say you and your partner worked great together, and that your current relationship, made you both very happy, which in return made you both work harder, and just improve as an individual worker and also as a team. You wouldn’t want anything to change right? But, what if one day you two weren’t seeing eye to eye, work related or not. What would you do if the tension and fighting between the two of you increased, and eventually started to effect your production at work? What would you do? Would you suck it up, and pretend like everything was okay in order to make your job a success, or would you allow your personal feelings to interfere with the bigger picture, the company you are working for is slowly suffering due to the problems you and your partner have been dealing with. Would the feelings of your bosses, coworkers and customers play a role in your decision making? Or would your main focus be on your relationship?

Credit to:

• http://ronmartin.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/my-sale-no-my-sale-man-and-woman-sized.jpg

Competition:

1. a test of skill or ability; a contest
2. rivalry between two or more businesses striving for the same customer or market It has been said, that your partner always brings out the "better" side of you, in most cases that is true. But with working in the same place as your significant other, it can bring out the "competitive" part of a person. In my opinion, I believe working with someone you are dating, may not necessarily always benefit you, your company, or secure your position. Competition has its positives and its negatives, but it is all up to the individual to use it properly, and not only to his or her advantage. I strongly believe that when you are dating someone whom you also work with, a competitive streak will eventually come out; it may start off as your attempt in trying to "impress" your partner, but in the end it could just as well evolve into a small rivalry with one another. A little competition is always healthy, but if you are only doing it for personal reasons, that’s just wrong and unnecessary. Not only does this complicate your relationship, but it brings tension within the company, fellow co-workers and possibly even the customers.

Credit to:

• http://www.thefreedictionary.com/competition (for the definition
• http://www.drexel.edu/univrel/digest/archive/112106/gender.jpg (for the photo)

With that being said.. What if the co-worker/couple showed PDA during work? Is that appropriate? Although I've never seen it, I’m sure it happens all the time.Some people may not find it offence but rather cute but in my opinion it is completely inappropriate. It does not only make your fellow employees feel very uncomfortable, but the customers as well. Lets just be honest, its awkward enough to see two people kissing or hugging in public never mind people working at the store you're shopping at!

- Caitlin

Credit to: http://www.harrisonpark.com/support/images/couple_hug.jpg for the photo

Response to Caitlin's Blog Entry on Feb. 16, 2010:

I personally don't think its okay to date someone you work with. Dating someone from the same workplace just brings drama and complications. At first it may not seem to be a big deal, but eventually as the relationship progresses, the two individuals may begin to see flaws in the other. This can only bring tension within their relationship which may result in tension at the workplace. I'm a true believe that work should remain work and complicating things by dating should not be allowed.

At my current job there was actually two individuals who started dating. I didn't feel like it was any of my business, so I didn't say anything to them or anyone else in the workplace, I really didn't care. I came to work and not involve myself with the people on a personal level. The two dated for nearly a month until the supervisors caught on, they tried denying it but too many people were talking about them by this time. No one expected any commotion, until one day the two were called in to the office to have a "talk". One of them was placed into another kiosk, which was no problem for him/her except for the fact, he/she was an important part of the current kiosk they had worked in.

Where do you draw the line between coworkers having relationships within the workplace?

Have you ever been the new girl at work, trying to fit with everyone, and make new friends, only to find out they were all already friends and possibly more? Because I have. In less than a week working at this company I found out more people were dating each other, then not dating each other, this was very new to me but I went along with it anyway. My question is, is it okay to be dating someone you work with? Are there rules stating that you can or cannot date them?

- Caitlin

Credit to: http://www.welfareatwork.co.uk/images/11036.jpg for the photo